Needle Tart

If I'm not knitting or sewing something, I must be cooking something!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

What's Up Doc?

I saw the doctor today and her opinion is that I have hit the perfect storm of depression. Low thyroid (that would be the Rx the pharmacy messed up), low Vitamin D, possible anemia due to, ta-dah, menopause. The pause that depresses. Also a few situations that are not really happy: anniversary of my Mom's death (10 years, but, hey! she was my Mom), maybe surgery, and of course, the wedding and ensuing nerves. We are addressing the meds and I am talking to a therapist to manage the rest. Thanks to everyone who sent positive vibes my way. They made a tough week survivable.
Coming soon, knitting content. I am working on Daydreams in Lace. Time consuming but not too taxing. Should be pretty.

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Tuesday, August 09, 2011


OK, for those who read:
I am a nutbag. Well, not really. A number of years ago (think big hair, oversized tees and leggings) I had a bad reaction to medicine. Yup the whole psychotropic bag. Depression, feelings of worthlessness and suicidal tendencies. I went to a therapist (briefly, I hope it's better developed now) and stopped taking any meds but a multi-vitamin. Tah-dah, cured. In the last few months I have been given incorrect meds (by the pharmacy) and of course, I am 56. Figure it out. Now that we all (the family) have an idea of what's really going on we are working to solve it. I owe YSS an apology and am posting it where ever I can.
There has been some mis-communication and a few letters on both sides that were better unsent but by and large I am responsible for at least half of the troubles. Keep me in your thoughts. I am seeing the medical professionals on Thursday and hope for a rapid resolution.


Thursday, August 04, 2011


Some of you may know that YS is getting married. In the last few months he and YSS have made some plans. I have asked for some hint of what is to come and made a few assumptions (yes, I know where that leads and I'm there now) YSS is for some reason now convinced that I wanted to run the whole wedding and will never accept her until she converts. She has ceased all communication with me except to tell me what I am thinking. I can not stop crying. For those who care to listen:
1. YSS is a wonderful girl from a wonderful family. YS lucky to have someone who cares about him in his life.
2. I adore her family (well, until they started to treat me like the "Bitch Who Ruined The Wedding") They are funny, kind, and the sort of people we like to hang out with.
3. I am a deeply Religious Jew. Any questions I had about the wedding service were to protect YSS. OK, and to make sure I didn't feel like a quaint animal in a zoo ("Wow! So that's how Jesus did it!"). A Jewish Wedding is more than one service, it is part of a much larger gestalt.
4. At this point I can show up, say whatever they want me to say for the service, but I cannot promise that I will not cry from now until then. Everything I have tried to do has been thrown back in my face as trying to control the wedding. I was asked to make the chuppah, the design wasn't good enough. I asked if YSS has converted (and was going to surprise me because it's a totally Jewish wedding and she can be sweet and thoughtful that way) and was told that I couldn't accept that my little boy was marrying a non-Jew. Whoops. Guess I read that one wrong.
5. Help. I'm sick of crying over this, but I can't seem to stop. I want him to have the happy day he deserves, but maybe he'd be better off if I weren't around.